Letters
by MissSadieKane
Summary: Sirius is cleaning Grimmauld Place when he finds a pile of letters in his brothers sock drawer. Who are they from? What did the Lestranges have to do with them? And why now does Sirius feel a sudden rush of guilt that he should have done something? AU


_Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series_

_This is just a little spin off from my story 'Not What You Think'. You don't have to have read it to understand._

**Letters**

Sirius Black hated being back at Grimmauld Place, and Molly Weasley was being especially annoying. Not that he didn't appreciate her help in cleaning up the long forgotten house; he just didn't want to spend his whole life cleaning the drawing room. That was why he found himself standing on the second floor landing, outside his brother's old bedroom.

He had specifically told Molly that he would clean the upstairs bedrooms himself; there were far too many memories there to have her poking her nose in them. He also wanted to have one more look at the room before everything in it was off-handly discarded or chucked away.

There was a rather pompous sign on the door that read: "Do not enter, without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black." Sirius ignored the sign and pushed open the door, feeling like he was intruding slightly on something that had been left untouched for over a decade. The room looked exactly as it had done 20 or so years ago, before he left - in fact, apart from the straightened covers on the bed, it didn't even look as if anything had moved. Those dreadful cuttings from newspapers were still on the wall, not even updated since 1975.

The main question was where to start. He began with the chest of drawers in the corner, emptying the clothes that no one he knew would ever wear in a million years into a large bag. Sirius wasn't sure how he felt doing this but they were no use to anyone. However he stopped when he thought he felt something else.

It was a package: a bundle of letters held together by a piece of string. Curious about their contents, Sirius took out the first one and read it.

_Dear Reggie,_

_Thank you for the book. I've only read the first chapter, but I'm finding it really interesting to learn about wizards and the enchanted castle. My Mum came in to make me tidy my room again and she was really shocked to see me reading such a thick book. I'm glad you are enjoying the book I gave you._

_I am a bit worried about this dark wizard you mentioned, but if you think Andy can protect me, then I shan't panic. I showed Ryan your letter, and he's quite worried, but he told me not to tell anyone else about it. He knows all about wizards from Ted of course because the two of them have been best friends since they were three years old, and they don't keep secrets from each other. He told me that the reason you are not allowed to tell us non-magic folk about magic is because of something called the 'statue of secrecy' or something like that. He says it's actually against the law, so we really have to keep our exchanges secret from now on. He also found it very amusing that I was reading your book._

_I hope you are better soon, and can come and play. It's still the Easter Holidays here, so I will be able to play every day. After that, I will have to go to school, so you can only come around after 3.30pm._

_See you soon,_

_From Steph._

Sirius finished reading, puzzled at the letter's contents. The letter was written in a childish tone, and used the name Reggie. The only people ever called his little brother that were people who were very close to him, and the letter had obviously been written before Hogwarts. The girl was obviously a muggle, but how on earth did Regulus know a muggle? Why had she written to him and what book was she talking about?

Curious, he pulled out a second letter.

_Dear Reggie,_

_I don't think you should hide what Rodolphus is doing to you from everyone. It sounds really horrible, and I'm sure your parents would be able to stop it happening. From what you said, I think you need to talk to someone because it sounds like double vision which is bad. You can't let yourself go through this._

_I really enjoyed 'Hogwarts: A History', though Ted now thinks I'm a complete weirdo because of it. I've enclosed it in here, along with a book about animals, which I think you will like. I look forward to seeing you and Andromeda on Saturday._

_Steph._

That letter certainly explained the book, and how Regulus was seeing the girl. She was obviously some friend of Ted Tonks, Andromeda's husband, but Sirius himself hadn't known the two were together, until Andromeda had left. However, it didn't really surprise him as much as he had thought it would: as a child, Regulus had always followed his older cousins around like a lost puppy. Perhaps that was why he had copied Bellatrix and become a death eater.

Much to Sirius's horror, the first part of the letter brought back a memory of something Sirius had once heard. He had been at a meeting for the order and one of the spies had relayed an argument that had occurred between Bellatrix and Rodolphus. Bellatrix had been absolutely furious when her husband had offhandedly said that he had practised unforgivable on a nine-year-old at Bellatrix's party. Sirius hoped it hadn't been Regulus, but remembered his brother had looked as if he had been under the Cruciatus curse at the time:

_April 1970_

_Sirius looked downstairs, but they were nowhere to be found, so he tried Regulus's bedroom. He peered around the doorframe and saw that they were both in there, arms wrapped around each other. Narcissa looked up as Sirius came in, and he saw that her eyes were red and puffy, and that her flushed cheeks were wet with tears. Sirius felt sorry for her. He opened my mouth to ask her what on earth was the matter, but then saw Regulus. His face was much the same as Narcissa's, but he was shaking so badly that, if he didn't know better, he would have thought Regulus had just been under the Cruciatus Curse._

_"What happened?" he asked. He knew Mother had just told Regulus off, but Regulus wasn't usually this bad after a telling off. Mother wouldn't have used the torture curse on him anyway._

Sirius felt bad. He'd seen the way Regulus had been and he hadn't pressed further about it. Narcissa had told him a story of how the cat had 'died', which Sirius now suspected probably meant 'murdered', and he was sure that between her sobs, that had been once of the things she had said. His brother hadn't said anything, and had just sobbed into his chest, shaking. The now adult Sirius as he thought of everything his brother had been going through.

Not wanting to find out any other horrors, Sirius pulled out a letter from slightly further on. It was from the Halloween after Sirius had started Hogwarts.

_Dear Reggie,_

_I'm sorry that you were ill again and couldn't play. I don't like asking this because I feel like I am intruding, but was it Rodolphus, or your Mother, or are you genuinely sick. I know you told me about what happened with Rodolphus, but I saw the bruises a few months ago, and I just assumed they were because of what happened with Kreacher._

_I think the best thing to do about Sirius would be to talk to Andromeda – she always writes back. Maybe Sirius is hurt or something, and can't write to you. There must be a reason why he doesn't write. He certainly doesn't hate you, so don't you ever think that he does. I mean, didn't you tell me that you both discussed that you would always be brothers no matter what houses you were in?_

_Besides, from what you've said and what I've read about Hogwarts, I expect he is having an absolutely wonderful time, and has probably made some new friends. He might be having such an amazing time that he just doesn't have time to write. You said yourself that your brother can be quite forgetful._

_Hope to see you soon,_

_Steph._

Sirius felt increasingly guilty as he read the letters. This last one confirmed what he had suspected about the Lestranges, and refered to an incident at Bellatrix's wedding when Regulus had tried to free Kreacher. Sirius couldn't understand why – Kreacher was an abominable creature, but Regulus had always had a soft spot for the ruddy elf. That occasion had been the only time Sirius had seen his Mother truly loose her temper with his brother. In her eyes, Regulus had always been the 'good child', never complaining or standing up to her. Now Sirius thought about it, it was probably out of fear.

He also remembered the letters - the letters that had come every day without fail for two years. At the time, they had been accompanied by howlers from his parents and Sirius had chucked every single letter on the fire. Around November in his first year, one had also come to James, which had also been thrown on the fire in Gryffindor common room.

Sirius continued to read through the pile, until he came to the last letter,

_Dear Reggie,_

_Guess what happened to day. I'm so happy right now, I could cry. A woman called Minerva McGonagall, visited us today, with a letter in her hand. A letter for me._

_She is a teacher at Hogwarts, and I'm a witch. A muggle born like Ted is. Ryan was ecstatic! This means we can go to Hogwarts together. Of course, we'll have to keep everything a secret, because of your mother, but we'll work it out. I can't wait to try Quidditch. Will you teach me? I hope we can play on the same team as one another. _

_I'll meet you on the train,_

_Steph._

So the girl was a muggle born then. Sirius remembered a girl called Stephannie, who was a muggle born two years below him. She'd been a chaser for Gryffindor for four years, until he'd left, and he assumed she had carried on playing. He remembered once he'd spotted her on the marauders' map, suddenly disappearing off it. Later of course, he'd found out that it was that corridor on which the 'room of requirement' was situated.

Sirius looked around the dusty room. In the space of three hours, for that was how long it had taken for him to read all the letters, he had found out more about his brother than he ever had from talking to him. The boy had certainly kept a lot of secrets from him. His gaze turned to the bed, where five more similarly bound piles of letters, several muggle novels, and the burnt remains of a childhood toy dog, were shoved underneath. He reached for the letters. Three piles were from the same girl again, and the other two were letters from Andromeda from his second and third years. There was no trace anywhere in the room of Regulus's fourth year, or even any older years. Even the clothes Sirius had just chucked out were probably too small for Harry.

What on earth had happened to Regulus after he'd left?

..…

_AN: If any of this makes no sense, please read my other story 'Not What You Think'._

_Please review._


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